Archive for the ‘NLP’ Category

Worldview Of NLP

Main article: Neuro-linguistic programming


Neuro-linguistic programming studies and models how people think about and perceive aspects of their life, and how to work with the underlying cognitive and emotional processes at a practical level. The range of potential uses is varied, and NLP has an exceptionally broad and adaptable structure.


The field originated in the work of Richard Bandler, John Grinder in association with polymath Gregory Bateson in Santa Cruz, California in the early 1970s, when they recorded and studied in depth several world renowned therapists who seemed to obtain almost magical[1] results by the therapeutic standards of the time. They concluded that a comprehensive set of self-taught approaches and skills was largely responsible for their success, that these could be summarized and expanded upon, and that much of human perception and experience was also structured and could be worked with effectively in this way. They stated, in contravention of the professional wisdom of that time, that the internal human experience demonstrated itself in people’s behaviors, and could be worked with directly given an appropriate mindset, and that this was why certain individuals were so singularly successful as therapists compared to the norm.


Despite its substantial influence and adoption of its viewpoints, extreme skepticism persists in some quarters, due both to its pop psychology usage and non-traditional approach to psychology.


Techniques v. attitudes


Grinder and Bandler made very clear that there was a profound (although blurred) difference between skills and techniques as a basis for working with people, and attitudes and approaches.


“People who come to us in therapy typically have pain in their lives and experience little or no choice in matters which they consider important. All therapies are confronted with the problem of responding adequately to such people. Responding adequately in this context means to us assisting in changing the client’s experience in some way which enriches it. Rarely do therapies accomplish this by changing the world. Their approach, then, is typically to change the client’s experience of the world. People do not operate directly on the world, but operate necessarily on the world through their perception or model of the world. Therapies, then, characteristically operate to change the client’s model of the world and consequently the client’s behavior and experiences.”


Purpose and basis of NLP’s world view


The founders of NLP emphasize that in their experience, experts in human communication all have a similar approach, and it is this approach (and not the technical skills) which distinguishes them, and which can be learned:


“When you watch and listen to Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson do therapy, they apparently could not be more different…People also report that the experiences of being with them are profoundly different. However, if you examine their behavior and the essential key patterns and sequences of what they do, they are similar…. The same was true of Fritz Perls… when he was operating in what I consider a powerful and effective way, he was using the same sequences of patterns that you will find in their work.


Analyzing this further, Grinder and Bandler stated that there were a very few common traits such people – whether top therapists, top executives or top salespeople – all seemed to share:


1. Everything they did in their work, was pro-active (rather than reactive), directed moment to moment by well-formed outcomes rather than formalized fixed beliefs
2. They were exceedingly flexible in approach and refused to be tied down to using their skills in any one fixed way of thinking or working
3. They were extremely aware moment by moment, of the non-verbal feedback (unconscious communicationn and metaphor) they were getting, and responded to it – usually in kind rather than by analyzing it
4. They enjoyed the challenges of difficult (“resistant”) clients, seeing them as a chance to learn rather than an intractable “problem”
5. They respected the client as someone doing the best they knew how (rather than judging them as “broken” or “working”)
6. They had certain common skills and things they were aware of and noticed, intuitively “wired in”
7. They worked with great precision, purpose, and skill
8. They kept trying many many different things until they learned enough about the structure holding a problem in place to change it


They summarized their findings:


“You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator. We have found that there are three major patterns in the behavior of every therapeutic wizard we’ve talked to — and executives, and salespeople. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behavior. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviors to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want…”


Skills vs. philosophy in NLP


Grinder and Bandler stated categorically that although these people had developed many innovative and effective skills,[10] the core of their effectiveness was neither their skills, nor some mystical or unknowable quality or personality. It was primarily the attitudes, approaches and philosophies they had in common which made them capable of effective work, and these could be learned and transmitted. When this was done, others could learn from these models to be effective the same way. This approach became central within the philosophy and epistemology of NLP:


What we essentially do is to pay very little attention to what people say they do and a great deal of attention to what they do… We know that our modeling has been successful when we can systematically get the same behavioral outcome [results] as the person we have modeled. And when we can teach somebody else to be able to get the same outcomes in a systematic way, that’s an even stronger test.


We don’t know what Virginia Satir really does with families. However, we can describe her behavior in such a way that we can come to any one of you and say ‘Here. Take this. Do these things in this sequence. Practice until it becomes a systematic part of your unconscious behavior, and you will end up being able to elicit the same responses that Virginia elicits.’ We do not test the description we arrive at for ‘accuracy’, or how it fits with neurological data, or statistics about what should be going on. All we do in order to understand whether our description is an adequate model… is to find out whether it works or not: – are you able to exhibit effectively in your behavior the same patterns that Virginia exhibits in hers, and get the same results?


We will be making statements up here which may have no relationship to the ‘truth,’ to what’s ‘really going on.’ We do know, however, that the model that we have made up of her behavior has been effective. After being exposed to it and practicing the patterns and the descriptions that we have offered, people’s behavior changes in ways that make them effective in the same way that Satir is.


– Frogs into Princes, pp.7, 9-10


Features of NLP’s world view



Unlike classical psychology, the subjective character of experience is integral to NLP. (Subjective in the NLP sense means “as internally experienced”, rather than ‘arbitrary’ or ‘whimsical’). It is taken for granted that what people perceive, believe and feel, is more significant to their lives than what is objectively ‘true’, and takes for granted that each person’s awareness and inner world is different and unique. It is emphasized that one must leave ones’ own preconceptions behind, and be willing to understand and work within the other person’s “reality”, to have any great effect, since no one map of reality can be said to be “true”. There are only (in NLP’s view) better or worse maps, a concept taken from Korzybski’s general semantics.


There is an order and a structured logic to it. But that order and logic varies individually and people interact and judge their (and others) lives and actions based upon their own understandings of the world, not upon some objective reality.


Human nature


NLP does not (subject to physiological pathology) consider people “broken” or “working”. All people have a neurology, experience of life, and the innate ability to change their perspective on any aspect of their life, and the nature of neurology is very adaptable. They also have great wisdom in their unconscious minds, even if they do not seem to be able to always use it or it seems on the surface, dysfunctional. One does not have to be in trance for unconscious processes to be effective.


NLP view human authenticity as bound up with the capability to respond and how much awareness of choice is experienced in actions and responses. Bandler comments, “We’re talking about basic beliefs regarding human capability. Here’s the only truth about that. Nobody knows.”


In NLP, “understanding” is less important than change. Most human learning occurs outside consciousness, and some learnings may even be sabotaged by conscious attention. According to NLP, the brain is capable of learning (or re-learning) patterns extremely fast, and that change can happen quickly, often without conscious mediation. Dysfunctional patterns can be addressed through cognitive routes (talking therapies) or non-cognitive routes (working with the body and unconscious mind), and particularly, by directly retraining the mind to use its innate capability to learn new patterns in a deliberate manner. NLP believes that “People already have all the resources they need, to change”, that the mind/brain is very willing to change once it “knows” how, and that guided with skill and sensitivity, change provides an increased sense of control over ones’ life.


A powerful demonstration of these interactions by Baxter (1994) found that NLP reframing used to treat obsessive compulsive disorder in place of Prozac, resulted in the same raised serotonin levels and reduced caudate nucleus activity as control subjects who took medication (as measured by positron emission tomography, a type of neural imaging).


Systems view


People are complex adaptive (learning) systems and processes, and have a richness to them which no simple system can fully predict or capture. Our bodies, our societies, and our planet form an ecology of complex systems and sub-systems all of which interact with and mutually influence each other. “Intuitively obvious” results are not always to be expected. Positive and negative feedback, leverage points, interpretational context, and other features of complex systems will come into play. In humans, the body impacts on the mind, and the mind impacts on the body. Thought, emotional state, somatic awareness, perception, and body usage, as well as neurochemistry and other hormonal interactions, and external circumstances, are all profoundly interdependent and deeply connected, and any can influence or be influenced by another.


In NLP it is therefore seen as important not to make untested assumptions about individuals, that there are many more ways than the obvious to approach a seemingly intractable problem, it is understood there will usually be unconscious goals, limiting beliefs or secondary gains present in any situation, and that there is an art as well as a skill in perceiving how best to approach this. Change is also systemic. That is, it does not happen in a vacuum and is not limited to the “problem area”, but usually is connected to other aspects of life, which are part of the situation as well as a necessary part of any solution. Partly for this reason, NLP leaves deliberately open and unlimited, its areas of interest and its scope.


As a special case of systemic thinking, NLP emphasizes that change is relational. That is, change happens in a relational context, whether the self-relationship or the relationship with another person (parent, friend, partner, employer, co-worker, role model, clinician, trainer). Change happens in a relationship, and the quality of that relationship, known as rapport, is often critical to the ability to change.


Meaning and context in communication


NLP views meaning as only existing within a given context, a view known as cultural relativism which is axiomatic in anthropology. Because of this, NLP states The meaning of communication is the result you get – it is not message sent, but message received, and willingness to set aside preconceived interpretive frames, which is most significant in communication.


The process of interpreting “meaning” from thought and speech is complex and (as pointed out in sciences such as cognitive linguistics, transformational grammar and general semantics) can involve a wide range of distortions, errors, and mistranslations because internal experiences, thoughts and feelings have to be translated back and forth through conscious perceptual filters, into crude symbols known as ‘words’. The resulting patterns of speech are considered highly revealing of the unconscious perceptual filters involved.


NLP considers all behavior, at some level, communicative. Thus even undesired or clinical states such as depression and confusion have a structure, a purpose, and an underlying communication – or in other words, on their own terms, all mental states have a rational structure within their given context. Such states are often viewed by NLP not as problems, but as valuable resource states which are not being understood or acted upon, or a part of a person trying to grow or change, or which require a better ‘map’ of reality. NLP also considers much communication metaphorical, and that even its own tools can be philosophically interpreted as metaphors used to guide useful responses, rather than literal objective ‘truth statements’.


Form and content


In NLP, underlying subjective (perceived, cognitive) structure (“form”) matters more than specific situational “content”. The subjective structure of a perceived problem matters more than the situation in which it is embedded. This is an embodiment of the form/content distinction in philosophy, also favored by Western psychiatric medicine (an innovation first argued for by psychiatrists Karl Jaspers and Kurt Schneider), and is also a feature within cognitive linguistics.


NLP takes this principle into the field, with so-called “content free” work being a common respected NLP skill – that is, where no details of the situation are shared or sought, but only the cognitive features of how it is structured are relevant. Despite the practitioner lacking knowledge of the actual situation, knowledge of the structural aspects alone (modalities, strategies, outcome orientation and the like) are often sufficient by themselves to allow NLP to work with full effectiveness. Common rationales for working with reduced content in this manner are:


* The less content is involved, the more the practitioner is client- rather than self- or interpretation-focussed
* The less distraction (ie, loss of strategic focus) due to content is likely to arise.
* Other than perhaps for rapport purposes, the extra information is generally not very relevant to NLP’s strategic structural approach, so it is wasteful of time to dwell on it


NLP is in the present and oriented towards the future


No matter the personal history, the only memory of it is in the present neurology and life. The past has no existence independent of this. Therefore what is explored is the memory and impressions of events in the present – present experiences, present constructions, and present limits, including the present beliefs about their existence and origins. What is then aimed for is to build in the present, a changed future, where old, outdated, or dysfunctional beliefs and patterns are no longer an issue.


Common sayings (or principles)


The following are some of NLP’s most recognized principles and presuppositions, in their well known aphoristic forms. They are often summarized as soundbites so as to be short, pithy, and memorable, and a fuller discussion of these (as well as some of the other common NLP sayings) is given in Principles of NLP.




* The map is not the territory
* People already have all the resources they need to succeed [or change]



Systemic view:



* Life and ‘Mind’ are systemic processes



Information and interpretation:



* Behind every behavior is a positive intention
* There is no failure, only feedback
* The meaning of your communication is the response you get
* Choice is better than no choice (and flexibility is the way one gets choice)
* Multiple descriptions are better than one
* There are no resistant clients; there are only incompetent [less skilled] therapists



Working approaches:


* If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got
(or: If what you are doing isn’t working, try something [anything] else)
* Good NLP is 90% information gathering and testing, and 10% changework
* Everyone is different
* Use whatever works
* If something can be done effectively and ecologically in ten minutes, don’t spend an hour doing it


I read with interest on a writing that someone wrote in a blog. Do visit her blog. She has very nice stuff there.

Whoever Tells the Best Story Wins!

“Great communicators know that the best way to inspire, motivate, and persuade others is to infuse a human element into discussions through the simple telling of stories, according to Annette Simmons.

Stories help people feel acknowledged, connected, and less alone. Your stories help them feel more alive. To realize the power of stories is both an incredible opportunity and an awesome responsibility. Filled with enlightening anecdotes and practical guidance, Whoever Tells the Best Story Wins helps you to understand and use that power. You will be able to craft your own personal experiences into stories that will build consensus, win others over to your point of view, and enable better group decision making.”

Telling the best stories may be why Author Caroline Smailes succeeded in getting published so quickly.

Author Annette Simmons lists some of the best ways to tell your stories:

  1. Who-I-Am Stories
  2. Teaching Stories
  3. Vision Stories
  4. Values-in-Action Stories
  5. I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking Stories

Annette said that people are lost in an ocean of choices:

In this ocean of choice, a meaningful story can feel like a life preserver that tethers us to something safe and important—at the very least, to a trace of humanity that proves there is a “you” communicating with them, whether the “you” is yourself or an organization you represent.

The meaning is clear: get personal. Tell your story as if you were speaking to a new acquaintance or friend you haven’t seen in a long time.

Annette’s Whoever Tells the Best Story Wins: How to Use Your Own Stories to Communicate with Power and Impact

Author Caroline’s success story posted in the story below.
Caroline’s own story of the trail to publishing.

Telling Stories


I remember the time when I did something that I thought was never possible for me. I always had the feeling of a desire to do it, and not having the a strong enough will to do it. Anyway, this is my story of this how I got over it!! Thinking of my exhilarating experience still get my adrenaline pumped up and excited.

I was driving along this scenic stretch of road out of Queenstown, New Zealand. I was heading towards the outskirt, just driving and taking all the warm air and the picturesque scenery in one afternoon in December 12, 1996. A friend, Nadia, was with me. The road was winding and at every turn there was another corner to negotiate. To my left was a gorge. A meandering river flowing right along it. The river water was fast flowing and I could hear the sound of the water flowing speedily along. What a wonderful feeling and a sight to behold, I told Nadiah and silently to myself. It is so peaceful although the warm air of the winter was brushing against our faces . Life was indeed fabulous and to be alive was such a good thing, I thought to myself.

20 minutes of the journey into the unknown, we heard a faint sound of screams and cheers coming through out half-wound down windows of our car. That was so strange. Out of nowhere the sound penetrated the silence and the peace around us. Being my usual inquisitive self, I suggested to Nadiah that we checked out the source of the intriguing noise. We followed the direction of where the sound was streaming from. After a short drive off-track we saw a parking lot full of cars and coaches. As we approached, the screams and laughters were so loud. We could feel the hive of activities that was taking place there.

We quickly got out of our car and ran towards the source of the commotion. Guess what we found? It was the place where a historic bridge was located. Right below the bridge is a gushing river with white water. The gap must be easily be 30 storey high. This is he location where the first bungee jumping started. Every minute, a jumper would leap into space and fell almost to the surface of the water below and bounced back up only to fall back close to the river once again. Both Nadiah and I looked challengingly at each other; our eyes probing each other to consider taking a go at it. We discussed, from where we stood, the jump didn’t seem to be difficult as the height did not seem a formidable task. Finally after much encouragement, nudging and probing by each other, we decided to pay up and make the plunge, literally. Much to our amazement that we could ever make such a decision. Just minutes before we were feeling calm while enjoying the drive and the next moment we got committed to such a decision that added an element of strength into our lives. Our hearts raged with excitement and wonderment. How could we have decided to do this!!

Being “ladies first”, Nadiah took her first step after having being fastened with the bungee cords. There was this narrow wooden plank she was to take and at the end of this, Nadiah was to take that final step and let gravity decide what to do with her. She slowly edged towards the end of the plank and was told to smile as she was on video camera. She said “Push me…push me!!”. I could hear her scream so loudly and off she went into space. Then the screams turned into “aahhs” and I must say those were not words of fear but sheer ecstasy. Nadiah bounced several times and moments later, released from her bungee cords. Nadiah emerged in total mesmerized expresssion and speechless.

It was my turn. Both my legs were tied to the cords. I slowly took small steps along the plank. I could empathize the emotions and thoughts that were going through Nadiah’s body and mind. I told myself what sort of wisdom had driven us to this decision. From that point onwards, nothing else mattered except to gather the courage to reach the end of he wooden plank and jump. Fully aware of what was there for me at the end of the plank did not help much at all. While I reached my final step, I could see people all round watching and cheering me on. I bravely look into the video camera. I lifted my arms, standing at the tip of the plank, as if in flight (and fright!!). A feeling of that height below overwhelmed me. I had never done such a thing before. Right in front of me, just less then an inch away, an open space and wilderness; right below me the river and empty space. Known and yet unknown. A very calculated hesitation in my step forward and yet an expectation of achievement if I took that leap. I decidedly smiled into the camera, screamed my head off and leaped into space, spreading my arms. Mere seconds later, I was touching the surface of the river water. I was bounced back up instantaneously and then brought back down to almost to the river. A few seconds later, the jump was over and I was hung upside down waiting to be released from the cords.

Immediately I was on a high. If only I would be staying up there and bouncing up and down forever. What a feeling and a tremendously joy that would be. Both Nadiah and I once again were trying to encourage each other to go for it another time. We finally decided to move on. Just a few minutes more, we could have decided to go for a second round. Sheer madness.

I am sharing this for the simple reason that all of us could get out of our comfort zone and do something that we have never tried before. Take the risk and what really could happen. We can learn from the outcome and live our life well. Our mind is very powerful and once we can transform our mindset, nothing is impossible. Something ridiculous might not be something silly or stupid at the outcome. It is just another experience and just living our life to the fullest. Mistakes made. So what? Our journey is about taking small steps and be able to live like we have only the next seconds left. And be able to learn while doing so. I have made many many mistakes and those are priceless and precious learnings that I picked up along my way. If I had not done the mistakes, I would not know better.

Metaphors are being shared to re-frame a person’s mindset and perspective. Children love stories. Learnings are very quickly absorbed as messages moved right across into the unconscious mind. There are no filters to sieve the messages. Adults are fond of limiting what they want to take in; so unlike children. Therefore, adults learn slowly. Children do wonders in picking up languages and everything when they were growing up. Just like a sponge. Metaphors are therefore used for changing minds and making positive transformation. The understanding and application come about when the need by the individual arises. Metaphors are subtle and yet they are fantastic teaching and therapy tools. Metaphors, yes, they speak volume.

Mind, Self And Spirit

It was this recent Sunday. I read an interesting article written by Dr. Amir Farid Isahak. I would like to share that with you.

source –

Check out page SF11

“The one who cheats and hurts others for his or her own gain or boasts to boost his ego or does things to satisfy his or her desires regardless of consequences has his or her Self being in charge.

Often he or she fluctuates between the pros and cons of proceeding with the decision or deed, but in the end his or her desires prevail. The Mind (conscious mind) is in control when correct decisions based on knowledge, understanding and logical thinking are made to give beneficial outcomes. But this is often limited by ignorance and low intelligence (low IQ), even though the intentions are good.

The Spirit is in charge when decisions and actions are marked by wisdom, which is a result of knowledge, understanding, and most importantly, Divine guidance. Some spiritual decisions and actions may seem incongruous at first, but the wisdom of such decisions and actions will become evident later.

Often, spiritual actions do not require any logical thinking. When someone needs help, the Spirit person helps unconditionally; the Mind person considers whether he or she should or shouldn’t help, especially if there are possible legal implications; and the Self person will think of ways to take advantage of the situation for his or her own benefit only, even if it means hurting that person more.”

Just thought some of you might find this inspiring.

Neuro-linguistic Programing

Neuro-linguistic Programing. NLP in short. This is a very powerful personal transformation technology. There are many tools that can be applied in various areas to make changes to behaviour(s) for personal transformation. We are hugely unconscious operated beings. Most of what we do at all times are carried out without us knowing those actions. For example – our heart beating laboriously away without us knowing it until we are bought to realize it. Now you can feel the temperature of your body and the difference of that temperature and that of the space around you. Perhaps, as you read this blog, you are becoming conscious of the weight of your feet. Even just before now, you were unconscious of your breathe and the air that was passing in and out of your nostrils.

NLP deals largely with the unconscious mind. When we are conscious, we are not at our best learning state. Babies and infants learn best at their age and the reason is purely because they have no resistance and filters to learning. Their mind is like a sponge!! Absorbing everything that comes along, right or wrong contents.

Having understood the last 2 paragraphs, as parents to young ones, as teachers to pupils, it makes a huge difference for either the parents or the teachers to use the right language. “Communication is the response we get”. If we use the proper language, babies, infants and children will be brought up with the right attitude and behaviours. When a child grows up in a family contained with problems, nothing but just problems, the chance of this child becoming an adult with an appropriate outlook in life is slim. He or she is unsble to integrate into society. A tall order indeed and how true most of the time. As parents and teachers, we hold heavy responsibilities in the things we say and do. We are role models to the young ones. Young ones going through their imprinting years taking in what we say and do literally without filters. Therefore, when they grow up and they do behave different than how we wish them to be, let’s ponder who is at fault that might be. Be careful what how we carry ourselves in front of these kids!!

There is an enormous resource on NLP and its practical application in every aspect of life-issues, business, politics, sports, therapies, coaching, negotiations, etc. As I progress with this blog, I will certainly look forward to sharing many aspects of NLP and its applications.

That’s all for now.